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Monday, July 10, 2006Oh, Jack Sparrow, You've Let Me Down
  Never in my life have I waited for the release of a movie the way I waited for Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.Never. I'm not the waiting-for-a-movie type. Heck, I'm not even a going-to-a-movie type. I prefer to stay at home and watch them on DVD in the privacy and comfort of my family room. Something strange happened to me last year, though. I fell in love with the first Pirates movie. I fell in love with the story, the soundtrack, the scenery, the whole Pirate Thing. I fell in love with Captain Jack Sparrow. I won't tell you how many times I've watched Curse of the Black Pearl. I won't tell you how often I listen to the soundtrack, niftily downloaded into my iTunes folder. To be sure, I knew there was a risk involved in getting so excited about a sequel. My rational side told me, "Jill, sequels always suck. The chance that the next movie will live up to your expectations is next to nill." Somewhere along the way, I forgot to listen to my rational side. And on Friday night, I paid for it. Yes, that's a picture of Eric and me in our local cinema on Friday, waiting for the movie to start. Eric bought three tickets ahead of time (Jonathan came with us), so we were able to waltz right in and grab some good seats (three rows from the front). See that goofy smile on my face? That "I'm going to see Jack Sparrow in just ten more minutes" smile? It didn't last long. Sigh. If you haven't seen the movie, you've at least read a review or two. There's no plot. The humor borders on slapstick. It's too long. It's all action and special effects, no real substance. Wait, there's more. The constant references to the first movie were beyond annoying. When Jack Sparrow got slapped in the face in the first movie, it was funny. When Will Turner gets slapped in the face in Dead Man's Chest, it's a feeble attempt to remind the audience how hilarious it was when Jack got slapped the first time. Totally unnecessary. And exactly how many scenes with a multi-tentacled sea creature does it take before the audience really appreciates how scary it is? I, for one, didn't need to see it more than once. As it stands, the Kraken has almost as many scenes as Will Turner, and is only slightly more interesting. Way overdone. I struggled with the morphing of Commodore Norrington, too. Yes, men "go bad." Yes, life can deal a rough hand and lead a person down the wrong path. But this dude's transformation was so unbelievable that it took me a couple of minutes to even figure out who he was. I never quite swallowed it. It wasn't a complete wash, despite my overall disappointment. There were some great scenes. Good acting. Cool swordfights. There just wasn't enough meat to chew on. It was more like watching a video game than a movie. Pow! Slash! Roar! Crack! Bang! Remember the tension in the first movie? Remember how you gasped the first time that cursed monkey jumped in front of Elizabeth's face? Dead Man's Chest is devoid of those moments. I spent most of the well-over-two-hours trying to figure out what the heck was going on. There just wasn't much to gasp about. Naturally, I'm going to go see it again. I've got to see if I can pick up a thread or two more of storyline in the midst of all the computer-generated magic. I feel disloyal. But I also feel betrayed. That's what I get for falling in love with a pirate. I should have know better. I should never have trusted him in the first place. You've broken my heart, Jack. |
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I am: Mother to five stunningly individualistic children... Writer of young adult fantasy... Passionate advocate for Women At Home... Madly in love with my husband... In need of Organic Gourmet Chocolate on a regular basis. I've got a Paypal account if you'd like to contribute to the cause....
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12of my readers are feeling chatty:
Stick with Prince Charmings rather than Pirates. That way you can't lose. At least you had a night out with the two of your princes. I told Tom about your review and now he wants to see it even more. Not sure he can wait for the dvd.
Jamie, I have a less severe opinion. It was entertaning, which is why I went to see it. It was short on plot, and more slapstick, but still enjoyable.
I think it is the experience of seeing it in the theatre, which is fairly foreign to us. People laugh at stupid things in the theatre. So I found the audience more annoying than Johnny Depp trying to keep his character fresh.
:)
Take heart Jill! I'm on a "pirates" sublist that's part of my historic costume group and the buzz all along has been that this movie is more or less a primer for the 3rd Pirates which is supposed to really rock!
I agree with your sweetie too, as big a POTC fan as I am I loathe the whole theatre experience so much that I totally plan on waiting for the DVD.
(BTW, I think Carley used the name crzymom or something similar for a while, didn't she?)
I've heard mixed reviews. Some have said it was everything they wanted. I haven't seen it yet, but plan to.
ARRRRR!
I never like those type of movies. I'm sorry that you were let down.
I love the picture of you and Eric together!!!
Hello again. I've used Crzymom in the Stay at home parents site and also in your stay at home mommies site. That's might be why I'm familiar :) We went to see the Pirates movie last night at the drive in with the family. It was paired with Cars which I thought was going to be first and wasn't, so our children sat through the pirates, sometimes with their hands over their eyes. We usually preview PG 13 movies before we decide if the kids can watch them or not. My husband and I agreed that the third one will most likely make up for the second which we both thought was lacking a little bit, although did have funny parts which we all laughed about. Cars was cute, but I'll have to rent it, I fell asleep and missed some of it :)
But wasn't Johnny worth it?
Jamie -- Actually, I'm dying to discuss the movie with Tom! (Well, within a reasonable time limit......)
Kerrie -- You've given me HOPE, woman!!!!!
Ken -- Well, uh....YES! :)
I've seen Pirates 2 twice now and I loved it both times! I can't figure out why people criticize it for being "more of the same." Of course it's more of the same! If we loved the first movie, why wouldn't we want more of the same?! If you've got a winning idea, stick with it.
I'm glad you're going to see it again. You'll get more the second time around. In the meantime, don't worry about understanding all the plot lines. Just enjoy the entertainment--and the always amazing Johnny Depp!
Anonymous -- For me, "more of the same" would have to mean, "Good story along with all the entertainment." And if I can't follow a plot line, well, to me that is hardly "entertaining."
Still, Johnny Depp IS amazing -- you're absolutely right. In fact, I just stuck Jack Sparrow on my desktop yesterday. :)
I just went and saw it with my 12 year old. He loved it. I thought the water wheel thing was a bit much.
The humor was kind of slapstick-ish, but I enjoyed it.
"I've got a jar of dirt!" gotta love that.
oh, by the way... "You smell funny!" :D
Yes, the water wheel was over the top, for sure.
What a fun outing with your son, though! You're a good dad. :)
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