|
|
Friday, July 07, 2006Mommy's Magic TouchYesterday, Spencer blew into my office wearing a bath towel around his waist. "I have this wrapped around me to be modest," he said. Then his eyes filled with tears. "My heiny is bleeding." "Is it?" I said calmly. I've dealt with bleeding heinies before. "Yes." His voice trembled, tears thickened. "Did you just go poopy?" He had. I cheerily asked him to follow me down to my bathroom so that I could have a peek. Anal fissures, hemorrhoids, butt rashes -- I've got a wealth of experience in this area. I laid Spencer across my lap, making sure first to ask him if he had wiped his heiny clean. "Well, I was still wiping," he said. Good. I had been warned. Undaunted, I spread those little cheeks and did a quick butt check. Seemed like a bit of irritation, but nothing serious. And no poop squirt surprises, either. In short, it was an easy job. "Now, this is going to feel a little goopy," I said, glopping a generous helping of Vaseline onto his wee bottom. He took it better than I might've. Especially after I assured him that the Vaseline -- and my finger -- were not going to go inside...there. Not on your life. I concluded that Spencer had wiped himself a bit too hard. He tends to overdo it. I'm not sure what it is about the males in my family, but they're all neurotic about...being clean in certain areas. You wouldn't believe the toilet paper we go through. 'Nuff said. At any rate, a very happy Spencer wrapped the towel around his bare bottom and prepared to leave the bathroom. The best part of all this? Spencer's parting words: "Thank you for fixing it." Who knew? I thought I was administering first aid, but I was actually fixing my son's butt. I'm adding this one to my resume. |
About Me
I am: Mother to five stunningly individualistic children... Writer of young adult fantasy... Passionate advocate for Women At Home... Madly in love with my husband... In need of Organic Gourmet Chocolate on a regular basis. I've got a Paypal account if you'd like to contribute to the cause....
Previous Posts
LabelsCurrently reading:
|
10of my readers are feeling chatty:
Uh, yeah, uh, so... Uh...
Hey, look at the time! Got somewhere to be.
Hello Jill,
I am a long time reader, but not a poster :) This entry of yours stirred a memory though. When one of my daughters was three (she's almost ten now), she puked in her bed in the middle of the night. After I had dutifully cleaned it up, she thanked me for cleaning her bed. She was barely three years old, and it hadn't occurred to me until that time that some of the "yuck" jobs we do as mothers are indeed a service and that our wee ones do appreciate what we do for them. Well, at least when they are tiny. Thanks for the chuckles
Awww Man, I wish some of the men in my house were a little bit more neurotic about being clean in that specific area. Especially when I'm the one that find's the dirty underwear after it's been used as a flying u.f.o.c. (un-finished object collector?! :-)
I hated vaseline. Still do, actually.
LOL! Cute story. I love "fixing" things for my little ones. :)
"Tales from the Dark Side" or better yet, "Tales from the Back Side"
Awe, that's great. "Thank you for fixing it." Just one more notch on your Superhero belt.
When I was a kid my parents had the classic "bare butt in the bathtub" photograph on top of the tv for all to see, to my complete and frequent mortification.
I think that pose was required of any poor helpless soul who was unfortunate enough to be under 5 in the early '70s.
I'm glad blogs weren't around back then though, this is much much worse.
Crzymom -- Thanks for sharing your story, and for coming out of the woodwork in order to do so! :) Why is your nickname familiar to me??
Dave -- Remind me to ask you when it comes time to name my next novel...
InTheWind -- When I first read your post, I thought it said "frightful" instead of "fruitful." LOL
Ken -- My superhero belt? Oh, you mean my DELUSIONAL belt. :)
Otay.
Post a Comment
<< Home