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Saturday, August 06, 2005Who Needs Clean Underwear, Anyway?My son obviously doesn't. He returned home yesterday afternoon from a 6-day, 5-night Youth Group camp. I was all prepared to roll up my sleeves and tackle the pile of dirty laundry that I knew was crammed into his duffle bag. I unzipped the bag and lifted out a fairly limp, not-even-one-fifth-full plastic garbage bag that was supposed to be full of dirty clothing. Underneath it was -- the rest of his clothing. Unused, unsoiled -- still neatly folded the way I had packed it. In the course of six days, my son wore three pairs of shorts, three shirts, and two pairs of underwear. He (proudly) told me that he had showered twice and used his deodorant once. His travel toothbrush and trial-sized toothpaste were unopened -- still swathed in shrink wrap. Considering the fact that he seems to have spent an inordinant amount of time putting dead fish on girls' heads and down the backs of their shirts, I can only conclude that he has completely alienated himself from every female between the ages of twelve and eighteen in the Youth Group. Between the non-bathing and the dead fish, he isn't measuring up to be Every Girl's Dream. Not that I'm complaining about this. I don't want him to be Every Girl's Dream. It's just that I find his complete lack of personal hygiene a bit -- disconcerting. I washed all of the underwear in the bag just to make myself feel better. My mother claims that she practically had to throw me into a tub when I was thirteen. She says this behavior is "normal." I still say I never would have gone through only two pair of clean underwear in six days, greasy hair or not. I may need therapy over this one. It's one thing to have a son who doesn't like to bathe. It's another thing altogether to have a son who doesn't like to bathe and who spends almost a week with a hundred other kids and several adults who now know that he doesn't like to bathe. And now, you know it, too. It's a good thing he hates reading almost as much as he hates bathing; he won't know that I've just told the world that he's a bit on the smelly side. I do love him, of course. He's one of the coolest kids I've ever known (if I do say so myself). If he decides to wear the same pair of underwear for an entire month, I'll still love him. I may not sit too close to him, but I'll still love him. Sometimes I wonder why I spend all my time writing fiction. My life is a story all on its own. |
About Me
I am: Mother to five stunningly individualistic children... Writer of young adult fantasy... Passionate advocate for Women At Home... Madly in love with my husband... In need of Organic Gourmet Chocolate on a regular basis. I've got a Paypal account if you'd like to contribute to the cause....
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6of my readers are feeling chatty:
Gertie!! Jonathan sleeps in his clothes, too. I can't STAND it! Then he'll come downstairs and I'll look at him for a while and finaly say, 'Um, weren't you wearing that yesterday?" :o|
Levi and Jonathan would make quite a dream team, wouldn't they??
Uncle Tom just told me he was the same way each summer when he went to Boyscout camp. Now Tom is far from normal...but he does wear clean boxers each day...so there's hope for Jonathan:o)))
LOLOL Well, I feel SO much better now! :)
Oooh, Gert and Jill - you're making me feel normal again. ;)
My sons ALL sleep in their clothes if I don't actually check to make sure they change into pyjamas...
I've this recurring mental scenario where the house catches fire at 3:00 AM and we're all standing out in the street but nobody is really worrying about my home going up in flames because they're all too busy staring at my fully clothed, grunge-covered boys (who most likely didn't brush their teeth before bed either) thinking that I'm a terrible mother because my children obviously aren't provided with pjs... :p
*sigh* Want to talk about getting them to comb their hair in the morning?
LOL, great topic!
Gary is 10. We have to stand on his head to make him take more than a 3 minute shower or brush his teeth in about 4 seconds.
I know it will all come around when some cute girl smiles at him but that brings a load of other issues.
Ken
A glimpse into my future...not as far away as I think, I'm sure.
Kathie
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